You and Your Feelings

Understanding and Managing Your Feelings

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” ⁠Nicholas Sparks

The importance of recognising your feelings.

It’s important to take time to recognise and understand your feelings. Being able to recognise your emotions is the first step in being able to control and manage them. It’s a key element in mental well-being and can be helpful in avoiding unnecessary stress.

When we experience various emotions, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and ignore them. This can have a negative impact on our mental health and lead to anxiety, depression and a sense of being stuck in a helpless cycle. However, it’s possible to learn to recognise our feelings and take control of them.

Once we can identify what we’re feeling, we can then start to objectively analyse it and figure out what caused the emotion. This could be an event or situation, a person or a thought or belief. By understanding the cause, we can start to find ways to manage our feelings more constructively.

It’s also important to be mindful of how our feelings are affecting us and those around us. Being able to identify our emotions can help us to take a step back and assess the situation in a reasonable and balanced way, rather than allowing ourselves to be ruled by irrational feelings.

Practising mindfulness is a great way to learn to recognise and manage our feelings. Taking a few moments each day to focus on our own state of mind and body can help us to identify any underlying emotions so that we can address them more effectively.

In order to take care of our mental well-being, it’s essential to be able to recognise our feelings and learn to manage them in healthy ways. Taking the time to understand and process our emotions can help us to stay calm and composed in challenging situations.

“We destroy ourselves when we stop feeling. If you bury your feelings within you, you become a graveyard.” ⁠⁠

Bernie S. Siegel

What’s the difference between a feeling and an emotion?

One way to think about this is….

A feeling is a way you experience something inside you - like being happy, mad, or sad. Emotion is the expression of that feeling - like laughing or crying - that we show to other people. It's important to recognise your feelings so you can understand why you are feeling a certain way, and then be able to express your emotions in a healthy way.

Emotional Overload

It can be overwhelming to experience a wide range of feelings and emotions. This is because they are often so strong and intense, and it can be difficult to find a way to cope.

It is important to remember that it is ok to feel overwhelmed, and it is not a sign of weakness. It is a normal response when confronted with a difficult situation or emotion.

One way to cope with feeling overwhelmed is to take a few moments to yourself and practice mindfulness.

This can help you to step back and take a breath, allowing you to process your emotions and gain clarity.

You could also talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member or counsellor, who can help you to work through your feelings.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and the emotions of the people around you. It also means being able to use this knowledge to manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of those around you in a healthy way. This can help us to stay calm in difficult situations and make better decisions.

Daniel Goldman is the author of the best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence. He argues that having a high level of emotional intelligence is the key to success in all areas of life. He believes that emotional intelligence can be developed in everyone, regardless of age or background.

Goldman suggests that to become more emotionally intelligent, we should try to think more deeply about our feelings, learn to recognize the feelings of others, practice empathy, and strive for self-awareness.

Here’s a summary of his ideas.

Goleman suggests that in order develop our Emotional Intelligence, we could focus on understanding the connection between our thoughts, our emotions, and our behaviour. Goldman also emphasizes the importance of being mindful of our choices and how they may affect our lives and the lives of those around us.

Emotional intelligence can help to improve relationships by enabling individuals to better understand and communicate with each other. By being able to recognize and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of those around us, we can foster more meaningful relationships.

It also helps with conflict resolution, as it teaches us to step back and take a reasoned approach to disagreements. It also teaches us to be more compassionate, patient, and understanding. Emotional intelligence can help to create stronger relationships by assisting us to be more in tune with the needs of the people we care about. Lastly, emotional intelligence can help us to build better relationships by enabling us to better recognize and respond to other people’s needs and feelings.

Some Top Tips to help you explore and manage your emotions.

1. Keeping a diary to track your emotions

2. Practicing mindfulness activities like meditation or yoga

3. Making the time to take a break and relax

4. Talking to a therapist or counsellor

5. Learning to express your emotions in a healthy way

6. Setting boundaries and learning to say 'no'

7. Learning techniques to manage stress levels

8. Making an effort to identify unhelpful thinking patterns

9. Practicing self-compassion and self-care

10. Connecting with friends and loved ones to share your feelings

Alan /|\